The Death Stare.
The most powerful weapon in the psychological arsenal in the war of Teenage Girl Against Girl. It messes with heads and hearts, and demands a return of equal or greater intensity, perhaps even punctuated with a roll of the eyes!
I had to go ‘there’ with a couple of girls recently, working with them to resolve a long-standing (it’s been a week) and complex (no one knows how or why this started) feud that had hands on the nuclear red-button of ‘I just want to punch her in the face’.
So how do we handle such things?
- Recognise that the feud is real in the minds of the students, even if it seems fantastical to you
- Help the kids understand that a reality exists outside of their mind. Not all glances happen with a suitcase of emotions attached. Often it is just a glance. Period.
- Give it time and space
- Help the kids learn through the process
- Provide the words and actions the kids need
- Understand that part of adolescence is the need to be adult while the reality of life is still stuck in childhood.