The [un]Reality of Teenage Thoughts


The Death Stare.

The most powerful weapon in the psychological arsenal in the war of Teenage Girl Against Girl.  It messes with heads and hearts, and demands a return of equal or greater intensity, perhaps even punctuated with a roll of the eyes!


I had to go ‘there’ with a couple of girls recently, working with them to resolve a long-standing (it’s been a week) and complex (no one knows how or why this started) feud that had hands on the nuclear red-button of ‘I just want to punch her in the face’.

So how do we handle such things?

  1. Recognise that the feud is real in the minds of the students, even if it seems fantastical to you
  2. Help the kids understand that a reality exists outside of their mind.  Not all glances happen with a suitcase of emotions attached.  Often it is just a glance.  Period.
  3. Give it time and space
  4. Help the kids learn through the process
  5. Provide the words and actions the kids need
  6. Understand that part of adolescence is the need to be adult while the reality of life is still stuck in childhood.


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